one sharp broad sex, boys & snark

I Ain’t Got Time For This!

Remnants of a pathetic dating life, the latest sad tale: I got a message on Myspace (yeah, I know) from a fellow expressing interest. I checked out his profile and he seemed like a new version of my ex-boyfriend, which is why I will now call him Joe 2.0. Except it’s more like buggy Joe 1.2 BETA. He was similar to my ex but as I began to talk to him, I saw he was missing a few key components, namely charm of any kind and ability to hold a conversation without asking obvious questions (one of my biggest dating peeves, do not ask me what I like to do for fun, you insipid dumb ass!)

So, we started talking on IM and things were okay. It wasn’t that terrible. He was a writer and I liked that.  He didn’t really seem to Get It (or you know, get me) but some people aren’t good on the Internet/over IM. I’m not one to waste too much time with constant Internet communication (add me to your buddy list after we have sex, plz), so I suggested meeting.   On the day that we were supposed to meet, I get an IM from him at 5AM (he sends this while I am asleep/idle) saying it’s too soon and he can’t do it. Okay, fine. That’s fair.

A few days later, he suggests we meet again. I say okay, but he can pick the time & the place. He totally flakes, doesn’t contact me and I sent him an email asking exactly what happened and he responds saying that he messaged me but I didn’t respond and how he called me and I didn’t call him back. Which is all utter bullshit as I’m on Instant Messenger on my Sidekick almost all of the time. Of course, genius doesn’t think to send me a message on Myspace or you know, leave a voicemail or a text. And then he says that I was giving him “mixed messages.

Of course, I did not learn and kept talking to him. Working from home can get boring sometimes. What can I say?

And where are we today? He totally flaked on me again, on tentative plans to hang out during the day. I sent him a message on Myspace yesterday asking where to meet and I can see that he read the message but hasn’t responded. I’m sure he’ll respond tonight about how he tried to send me a message through some magical tubes and somehow I didn’t get them.

Anyway, that’ll teach me to respond to inquiries sent over Myspace. My next romantic relationship will be born on a more respectable social networking site, like Twitter (add me, please!)

he’s just not into you … and you are over-qualified to hang with a flakey loser like him.

@anonymous, yeah - he’s not into me for sure but why keep suggesting new dates when he had no intention of keeping them (the second two attempts were initiated by him).

anyway, goodbye flaky loser!

my dad used to tell me, “pay attention to the way a salesman treats you before the sale … his service level will always decrease after the transaction.”

of course, he used the same speech for boys, employers, etc. totally applicable. you are a brilliant writer … don’t ever settle.

*hug*

@anonymous — do i know you? email me!
maria@onesharpbroad.com

if you’d rather not say who you are, i understand, but just curious

thanks for the hug!

Yeah, this dude is a fucking loser. When someone won’t meet you right away, it usually points to some serious personality disorder. FUCK THAT.

Also, I believe there is a “twitter dating” now? I am not sure how it works but it is following me?? perhaps you @twitterdating (i think that’s the name) and are like, FIND ME A MAN PLZ and then voila, a man at your door. On the internet. I don’t know what I’m saying here anymore.

bethenny would never stand for this kind of thing. and THAT’s one to grow on (*ding*).

Hey, those magical tubes can be finicky!
This guy sucks at life.