Day 12: My Plea for Forgiveness
Dear readers,
I done went and ignored you for 3 straight days after I told you I would be here every day for 30 days. And like an abusive boyfriend, I am back, on my knees, begging you to take me back and forgive me. It’ll be different this time, It’ll never happen again, all of that stuff I was doing when I wasn’t blogging? It meant nothing to me, it was just a diversion, I’m blocking it out!
And so here we are. I’m gearing up to have it all come full circle, back to the scene of the crime, going, going, back, back to Vegas (apologies to those of you who are not Biggie fans). We are going there because our friends won me and my two BFFs in a charity date auction. If it resembles anything like my previous trip to Vegas, I am in serious trouble. We are booked to stay at the Venetian and I am currently stalking ways to get bottle service at LAX (the latest Paris Hilton hangout) Do you think if I call them and tell them I am from a VERY IMPORTANT MEDIA OUTLET (as in, this blog, DUH) they will just give us a table?
I’ve always wanted to be the kind of person who can talk their way into things -I want to go to the club, but I want to go VIP. As in, I want to have a place to sit and laugh at people. I was looking through websites for clubs in Vegas and stumbled upon this kid, Jack Colton, who has some kind of “Vegas insider” page and while I found his site to be very helpful, I thought the pictures of the people who were supposed to be “hot” to be um, just a bit disappointing. I mean, is that all that is needed to be hot? A fake tan and heavy eye makeup? I think maybe, I just have the hipster bias. I see people like this and think: these are the kinds of bitches who make out with each other just to turn on dudes and who will show their tits for Mardi Gras beads and who will unironically talk about which Sex and the City character they are. As in: not my people.
(A Classic Vice Don’t:” If this was an R&B band they’d be called, POSE 4 DJ (a Pile Of Steaming Estrogen For Dumb Jocks”).
These are my people:
(Also from a Vice do)
Anyway, if you have tips on the best way to get into clubs, please let me know. I only want to go to hot places. I spend my entire life in unpretentious, “low key” establishments and Vegas is not the time to do that. 5 star luxury ONLY, bitches!
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