Bang & Blame.
I have had this song, REM’s “Bang & Blame” (which is supposedly about Michael Stipe’s relationship with Courtney Love!!) in my head ever since I wrote my coming out as a homewrecker entry. PLEASE keep in mind that when I use the word “homewrecker”, I am using it with a gigantic sarcastic tone. I don’t think there is ever a case in which a person is truly a homewrecker, unless you know, you’re a huge psycho and actually go after the attached dude, which you know, is worst idea ever. Even in my own experience with my own relationship, cheating was the nail on the coffin; we were dead & buried for a long time before it even happened. That realization, I think, is the hardest part of cheating, realizing that this is what you’ve been reduced to, going to somebody else.
I also wanted to say thanks to all who have left comments. I have been trying to make sense of this event ever since it happened and just putting it out there into the universe was part of it. I’d like to be able to talk about it with the kind of levity that I bring to my discussions of other encounters with dudes, but something about this has always been weird & intense & surreal.
And with that… I end today’s dispatch from the Land of Huge Downer. The weather in SF has been non stop hardcore raining and my sleep schedule has been extremely erratic, so I’m feeling like a crazy person.
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