one sharp broad sex, boys & snark

text messages i have sent

Just a few snippets from my “Sent Items”:

#1. I think Ja Rule is really under appreciated.

#2. How’s the snuff film coming along?

#3. I am easily hooked on being a fake rock star.

#4. The cat is raping me again.

#5. I am partial weight bearing sluts!!!

#6. Abortion, like rape is always funny.

#7. Compare me to alanis again and you will enter a dimension of ridicule you don’t want to go to.

#8. I found my cryo preservation DVD!!

#9. I WILL MURDER …

#10. Hell is other people’s fucking terrible taste in music blasting at full volume. And not having a burrito.

#11. You are over thinking it. All sex is rape, anyway.

And then there are about 8,000 ones that say “where are you”, “what’s going on later”, “i am here” and all those practical ones.

#4 & #9 are totally in my presets, along with “Do you want to borrow my jumper, Bowie?”