I was assigned to watch Smallville two weeks in a row at work now. I’ve had their melodramatic theme song stuck in my head this whole time. I like when tv shows use real songs.
(via Smallville7000)
“ Oh, that’s right. You’re a woman and you need to refuse food the first time. I’ll try again.
— Dwight last night’s The Office. (via shirtdress)
And this is why I love Tumblr...
I spent many hours reading your old true crime blog as I’ve said before, but I also think you are hilarious on Twitter and on here, so you know, you contain multitudes! But some of us remember the old days.
There is no sarcasm or facetiousness intended - I post something about how I’m done with a big part of my writing identity up till now, and don’t get a single like or reblog.
And this is good because it occurs to me that most people on Tumblr don’t seem me as that crime-blogging dude.
I fucking love that about you guys. Thank you.
things i have learned this week from television shows i have had to watch
1. when racing in NASCAR, it is advantageous to drive close to other cars.
2. ghost hunters is fake, fake, fake. its very hard to come up with several different ways of saying “heard a noise,” “magnetic field levels were very high,” saw shadows.” none of the girls on the show resemble their head shots on the syfy channel’s website, by the way. it was like they hired models to stand in for the actual women on the show.
3. how are shows like EXTRA and entertainment tonight STILL on the air? it’s literally a bunch of announcers showing paparazzi footage and never saying anything that is remotely true. how hasn’t TMZ killed all of these shows off? is it because celebrities agree to go on there for “interviews?”
4. CSI is unrealistic to the point where it’s almost insulting as a viewer. i would say that lie to me is also the same way. also, deception experts?
5. i would say the best show i’ve had to watch is 90210, which is bad, but last night’s episode had a whole N.E.R.D concert and an extremely awkward samantha ronson cameo. i wrote her name down in my notes as “samro” for no one in particular.
This is a fucking genius tumblr that calls out all the shitty quotes (and after reading a few pages of the tumblr, I realized most are shitty pop lyrics) written on photos of fields and birds that get reblogged over and over and then crankily dissects them. I love this dude for doing this.
“ You feel like telling him you’re not single in the way that he thinks you’re single. After all, you have yourself.
— Sloane Crosley (I Was Told There’d Be Cake) (via bunkercomplex)
Thanks to Kyle for finally uploading pictures from my birthday
Yeah, this has actually happened to me before. I guess walking across the street was too much work for the dude.
GUESTBREAKER: You Don’t Have A Condom
Alright, so you’ve got me back to your place and this is nice. I didn’t really expect to sleep with you but I feel it coming. We’re getting into it and you stop to get a condom. That’s cool- you’re safe. You turn around and tell me you don’t have any, not cool. You tear your room apart as I’m losing my desire to even have sex and you come back with no results, just a request. No, I’m not going to chance it and let you pull out because you’re “really good at it.” Either produce a condom or we don’t fuck, got it? What’s that? You want me to go get some? Well I don’t have any money… oh, $20 eh? You want the change back you say… Yeah, I’ll go get them. You sit right here… I’m going home, thanks for buying my late night pizza.
A Guest Dealbreaker written by Chelly.
“ Really? This thing? All of Stillman’s films revolve around the “urban haute bourgeoisie,” AKA self-absorbed cokeheads in pleated khakis who are afraid of black people and never shut the fuck up. Stillman directed three films and this one differs from his others (Metropolitan and Barcelona) as being the one where the protagonists dance to Sister Sledge and get herpes. It takes place in 1981, roughly two years after the actual last days of disco, but that’s a minor quibble in a film whose script includes lines like “I think Scrooge McDuck is sexy.
Miss you/this
